Consequences of Infidelity
Whatever be the reason, infidelity invariably leads to devastating consequences for most families. The wronged partner feels betrayed and there is a breakdown of trust. All around there is a feeling of guilt, rage, hatred, shame, anxiety, sorrow, loss and fear of impending disaster.
The emotions are too complex for most couples to handle wisely and separation seems the best way out. In case of children, infidelity by a parent and its consequences on the family life can leave indelible scars on young minds.
Children are often torn between parents or are used by one parent to get even with the other. They do not understand the complexities of an adulterous relation or why the comfort and protection of a family life was suddenly snatched away from them. They grow up confused, angry and mistrustful of relations in their own life.
How to handle infidelity
It is best to have an open discussion with your spouse as soon as you can. Before that, understand your position and what you want. Keep in mind several practical issues like your financial condition, how you plan to sustain yourself, how to divide joint property or how to take care of the kids.
You will have to explain a lot of unpleasant issues to them or handle their upbringing singlehandedly. Confide in friends or family members if you cannot make up your mind.
Next, talk to your partner frankly about the duration of the affair, if this is one-off incident or a string of multiple affairs and how serious is the adulterous partner about rectifying himself/herself. Sometimes there is genuine affection for the paramour whom the partner may want to marry.
Many couples want to give their marriage another chance and go for counselling. Many however understand that the marriage cannot be retrieved seek guidance of divorce lawyers. Others still continue for the sake of the children and separate once they grow up.